Further Evidence
As if we needed it, here is yet further evidence Jerry Porter is indeed "5150" and should be locked up for his own protection. He is truly a danger to himself and others.Word is the latest person Jerry Pouter has decided to complain to (between calf massages) about Art Shell regarding the way he is being "victimized" to the tune of being paid 20 million over 5 years while allowed to sabotage this team like a block of C-4 is NFLPA CEO, Gene Upshaw.
Am I the only one inhabiting the Planet Delusiono these days, or do Upshaw and Shell go together like peanut butter and jelly?
Isn't complaining to Upshaw about Shell basically the same thing as complaining to Shell about Upshaw? Last time I checked, Art and Gene are like two halves of the same coin - heads and tails - Tackle and Guard.
Apparently Pouter either doesn't know a d@mn thing about Raider history or he just chooses to ignore it in his, "Can't you see there is a 'ME' in the word 'TEAM' if you just rearrange the letters?" Pouter way.
One thing is certain. We hold this truth to be self-evident:
It is time to call the man with the big butterfly net and shoot Pouter with a tranquilizer dart full of the stuff that makes a hippo drop like Courtney Love on a dope binge.
Mr. Porter, now the question is not "Who the f@$% do you think YOU are?"...Now the question is, "Who the blamin' blue Beelzebub do you think Gene Upshaw is?!?"
He played next to Arthur Shell for over a decade there, Captain Insano.
"As for Porter's current mindset, we can only extrapolate from the T-shirt he wore (at the practice field) Wednesday afternoon.
It pictured two disembodied hands; the first was flipping a middle finger, the second was pointing outward at anyone who might be looking."
Read more here on Porter's PMS.
Read more here on the Raiders possibly benching Porter.
"WR Jerry Porter, who's back on the field now that his calf injury has healed, worked primarily with the second team." Read more here.
A sticky thanks to VA Raiderfan for tipping us off to this development.
posted by Stick'em at 9:07 PM
6 Comments:
When I read this, I thought you were joking. That is so out of touch with reality, that it is hard to come up with a simile. (I thought of "It's like complaining about Pamela Anderson's left boob to Pamela Anderson's right boob", because they're both big stars and right next to each other. But I wouldn't want anyone to think I considered Shell and Upshaw boobs. Porter is the boob in this truth-is-stranger-than-fiction tale.)
How I wish I was in NoCal so I could try to get Jerry to autograph my shirt. THAT would be a collectors item!
Somebody with drawing ability should do a book on this: Jerry in Porterland. (Can anyone photoshop a pic of Porter with blonde curls?)
Or maybe send Jerry a book to read while he's on the bench: Pine Surfing for Dummies.
If Art figures out a way to get Porter to be a productive member of the team this year, he will qualify for the "genius" label. Jerry has physical abilities. I just don't know if they can overcome his mental disabilities.
This is just bizarre. Even by my notably lax standards.
CS: Half joking, half truth telling.
One mitigating factor to consider, for whatever reasons Pouter is one of the Raider reps for the Players Union (Jerry must be representin' the Playas).
If Pouter is interested in how much $ it costs for a player to hold out this season, we should consider whether he asked this of Upshaw in a professional or personal capacity...
Given Pouter's history of problems with every single Raider coach he has had, to date, including the nascent one...
As well as my hunch Pouter is still burning a candle in his Mike Martz shrine these days...
I'd like to give'em the benefit of the doubt...nope – just can’t do it.
The words "Jerry Porter" and "professional" rarely belong in the same sentence, kinda like "Pam Anderson" and "book".
it has been awhile since i read something on the computer that made me laugh out loud but "Isn't complaining to Upshaw about Shell basically the same thing as complaining to Shell about Upshaw?
did it. I thought the hole thing was kind of silly myself. nice read
ekgraider
Playing devil's advocate:
After reading the below quote from the Upshaw article, I'm optimistic that JP will get his head screwed on straight and have a chance to earn his playing time.
"Even Jerry Porter was just telling me, 'I do ab(dominal) work after every practice. I am going to go do some now. Whatever issues I have, I am here to play football, and I am going to play. I have a contract. Shell and I have had some issues, but I am here to play. It's not about money.
Just food for thought. I think JP needs to prove himself on the field by being more consistent and productive. He also needs to improve his attitude but I don't think anyone has ever questioned his overall work ethic.
I think we should give some thought to Raider greats: George Blanda filled his helmet with chicken and brought it onto the field; Ken Stabler tried to jump to another league; Clifford Branch disappeared for two days before a playoff game, then caught two TD passes (what year was that?). Football players are a wacky bunch. It's Raider history, Baby.
I do like the idea of Chris Brown for Jerry Porter.
Craig Parker
Sao Paulo, Brazil
I don't know about Chris Brown. I think we need more of a shifty speed back to backup Jordan and Brown really isn't that guy.
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